Hey Zurich, R U there?

I just wanted to drop you a quick note and thank you for lunch today. It was pretty damn good. I've got to hand it to you veal meatballs are delicious and your potato gratin was killer. No, Zurich that is a good thing. "Ich esse Kartofelln gern!" That's right I do love potatoes and I can say it German. Are you impressed?

Yeah, I am in a better mood today. I got a full night of sleep and feel completely rejuvenated. Yes, my bed is still busted but my sheets are clean. I am trying to be more of a "half-full" kind of guy; I think you bring that out in me. You see Zurich, there is not a box-spring in my bed the mattress just sits on the floor with the busted bed frame around it. It is kind of like a fort. So instead of having a broken bed, the new Frank views this as a bed that prevents me from falling off onto the floor. The new Frank calls this a feature — it is a positive not a negative, Zurich. Sure, I would only fall 4 inches but Zurich, remember it is not how far you fall but the angle at which you do that leads to injury. So thanks for looking out for me.

Also, I meant to tell thank you for talking to SwissAir. They called me this morning to let me know that they found my beloved sweatshirt. I think I am gonna go by the airport tomorrow and pick it up. Hooray for SwissAir! Hooray for Zurich!

Okay look here is the deal, I don't mean to end on a downer but really what is with your television shows? They are horrible. They are a joke and no I don't mean that in a good way. Oh, and as a friend of mine pointed out you can't watch British dramas. They are unwatchable. Listen to me: the Brits know comedies but not dramas. You are better than this. You really should consider importing more shows from the US. Would it kill you to have an English speaking station that isn't a news network that loops its programming every 4 hours? After all, 43% of Zurich speaks English. You haven't updated the wikipedia page yet have you? Zurich, you are killing me.

Maybe you could export some of those delicious veal meatballs in exchange for TV shows. Stop it Zurich, that doesn't make you a sellout. Stop being so damn neutral and enjoy capitalism. You don't owe Britain anything — just broadcast the best shows. It is okay to piss people off sometimes.

Okay Zurich I have to go — you are getting a bit under my skin and I promised myself I wouldn't let this happen again.